Tomorrow is Mother's Day and although mine is on the other side of the world, I'm still lucky enough for her to be just a phone call or a plane ride away. This blog is for her.
There were a lot of things growing up that would frustrate me. My mom wasn't perfect and I wasn't the perfect daughter (very close though, guys, I was pretty darn close). ;) Now that I am grown, I "get" a lot more of her decisions than I did back then. Here are just a few:
Dear Ma,
Let's start from the beginning...thanks for breast feeding me. One of the first good decisions you made in my life...besides the decision to make me at all! ;)
When I was in elementary school I used to be ashamed of my school lunches. I knew at an early age that my lunches were different from the other kids'. When I look back now, I get it:
-Thanks for packing apple juice boxes/milk thermoses instead of Capri Suns or Huggies.
-Thanks for the PB & J's instead of Lunchables. (Have you guys seen the sodium content in those things?) Even after I begged for them in the stores, you never budged. Never. (Never, people! I never got a damn Lunchableeeeaaaaa!!!!) ::stomps feet...pouts::
-Thanks for making those PB & J's on wheat bread. Even after I cried and begged you to switch out the "brown bread" for "white bread," again, you didn't budge! ::crosses arms...hmmph:: I didn't even realize there was other types of bread until I saw all the other kids at school munchin' on this exotic "white bread."
-Thanks for cutting said sandwiches diagonally. I used to feel bad for the kids whose sandwiches were cut down the middle. And ::gasp:: God forbid if the sandwich wasn't cut at all! I'd probably keel over if I pulled out an uncut sandwich from my lunch box!
-Thanks for grapes instead of Gushers or the apples instead of Fruit Roll-Ups.
-When I did get sweets, and even though I was embarrassed to take it out of my lunch box, thanks for cutting the package of Little Debbies in half. I realize now that no elementary school child needs that many calories.
- Heck, thanks for packing my lunches at all!
With your help I was able to dodge the bullet of childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes. Thank you.
I remember when I was only allowed to go to either Toronto in 6th grade OR Washington D.C. in 8th grade...but not both. I realize now that it was a very fair choice. I mean, at least you were able to pay for one trip at all! I chose the 8th grade trip but I still hated sitting alone at the lunch table while everyone was in Toronto in 6th grade! But I want you to know I'm no longer salty about it because...I get it now.
Remember when I was in high school and I just ASSUMED I was going to all the formal dances? Remember when I just ASSUMED you and dad would be paying for my ticket, my dress, my hair, my nails, my dinner, my pictures, my limo, my tanning (::gulp::), my shoes, my jewelry...and you did? Yea...I remember that too...and thanks. Back then I didn't realize how much I took for granted...but I get it now.
Remember when I wasn't allowed to watch movies with boys laying down? Remember how every light in the room had to be on? Ugh...I do. How embarrassing! If we started to get relaxed and slouched or if I leaned back a little...surely enough, you'd whip your head around the corner and point directly at me "Rachel! Sit up!" I'm tempted to roll my eyes even as I type this but instead, I'll say thanks. Thanks to your guidance, I stayed on track when I was young. I will be able to share the joy of having a baby with my husband. (Let's not even talk about riding in cars with boys...when I get in the car with Eddie, I'm still tempted to look over my shoulder to see if you're peeking out the window!) Despite how frustrating/humiliating it was...I get it now.
Thanks for always having my back. I learned from an early age that no one can pull the wool over my mother's eyes. If I came home crying from (high)school because a teacher swore at me and embarrassed me, I was only momentarily surprised when that same teacher apologized the next day...and stated my mother really cares about me. (Mr. Centofanti had no idea what hit him). If I got cheated somehow at a store you went back in there and got me a full refund. I get my wit from you and I will not tolerate injustices of any kind. I like to believe that people think twice before double-crossing a Bartolone woman. God help the people that hurt my future children...
Speaking of not being able to fool you...remember when I used to tell you I was staying at a friend's house and you used to say "Ok, honey, sounds great...just let me talk to her mother real quick." Well played, mother...well played! I will be doing that one with my kids too. You always had to confirm that there would be "parental/adult supervision" and that I wasn't lying and staying at a boy's house. Again, annoying and embarrassing...but I get it now.
Remember that time I pushed your head...and you chased me down into the dining room and broke a metal (ok, probably aluminum) broom in half by beating me in, on, and around my head, torso, back region? Haha, yea, good times. I remember that too. Well, I get that now. There was no way I could have gotten away with that. I can't remember whatever possessed me to push your head but, Ma, let's be honest, you probably deserved it. Hahhahahahahah. No, just kidding, for realsies though, thanks for not letting us get away with too much. When I would visit other friends' houses and I would hear them talk back to their parents I would flinch for them! When they spat out something smart I cowered from instinct. I thought for sure they were going to get a smack in the mouth. I was like "Oooo snap, you gon' done it now, girl! You's about to get your booty whooped!" When it didn't come I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone "Whoa, wait, you're not going to smack her for saying that to you?!?! Hm...ok...should I smack her for you?"
Thanks for not letting me dye my hair or get my belly button pierced...even after I begged you in high school to let me go with Courtney Agnesi. You told me when I was 18 I could do whatever I wanted. You want to know the crazy thing though? My 18th birthday came and went without me noticing. Heck, a decade has passed and I still have never dyed my hair and, to this day, my ears are the only things that are pierced. I save a lot of money being all natural so I know Eddie thanks you too! But how did you know that I would make this decision?! You're very tricky, Mom...and it's borderline creepy. You're a bit of a gambler but I respect your bluff. I see you...and I'm keepin' my eye on you too.
Remember that time I had to pay my own way through college? You might not know it but I was very bitter at times thinking: "Did they not know, when they had FOUR children, that we would be going to college when we were older? Why didn't they plan better?!?" Well, you best believe that because I paid my own way, I didn't waste any time in college. I went to class, never failed one, never had to repeat one, never switched majors, never switched universities, and finished on time. Thanks for always keeping me on track. No, really, thanks a lot for that one, I get it.
Even though you weren't able to fit college into the family budget we got to go on family vacations every year! These were some of the best times of my life. Thanks, Madge!
Growing up I got in trouble for saying "crap," "suck," or singing the song "I hate myself for loving you" because "Rachel, you should never hate yourself for loving someone!" Thanks for always teaching us to watch our mouths. I think some of your efforts were in vain because when need be, I can still have the mouth of a trucker. You still get an A for effort. Nice try stealing my Snoop Dogg CD's when I was younger too. Might I suggest you find a better hiding spot though before you have grandkids. I see where you're coming from but I think it's time to accept the fact that I am approaching 30 and I sometimes say the "S" word. Look how you talk to grandma!
Not a very important one, but I remember when you used to flip your shi...I mean, flip your "lid"...when us kids would vacuum in the living room and we would ram the end-table legs with the vacuum cleaner. Oooh man do I get it now. Real wood furniture is expensive. Just ask Eddie the heat he gets for not using a coaster.
Thanks for teaching me appropriate table manners. It really bugs me too now when someone holds their spoon wrong. Thanks for all the home cooked meals as well. I have some great memories sitting around the dinner table. Cooking for a family of 6 at least 6 times a week can be hard...I get that now.
Remember when you used to drag us to church? No, I mean literally drag us. You were holding Julie's hand, while Brandon was on your hip, while pushing Bronson in the stroller, and demanding that I hold onto the side of said stroller. I bet we put up a bit of a fight getting ready for church each weekend. Thanks for teaching me about God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Even though 2 hours church services is a lot to ask from a child, I realize now that you were just keeping your promise to God...a promise to spread his word to your children. Thank you for leading by example. My faith is one of the best gifts you've given me.
I realize you did know best and although it's years/decades late, I want you to know I appreciate it and I love you! Don't give up yet though, I still need my mommy!
Now, see God, I get it. I get my mom's sacrifices and I appreciate her hard work. I understand almost everything she did in her life was for the benefit of my siblings and me. I'm ready to do the same for my babies...well, not the exact same, but my variation of her love. I've passed the test in life of understanding my mother. I've passed this test while she is still alive and healthy for me to say thank you. I've passed this test even before I have babies of my own...now will you please, please, let this be my last mother's day as a non-mommy?
...to all the mommies out there all the way from Germany! Wishing all those who also can't be with their moms today some peace too. Find comfort knowing one day you will be reunited and that you are loved no matter the distance! Sending out a special prayer of peace to all the women who want so badly to be a mommy but just can't right now for whatever reason. Stay strong and have a Happy Mother's Day!
152. In German, there is a verb for when you are about to go up and say something to someone but at the last second you realize that that person isn't who you thought they were. In German, you would say something like "Oh! Entschuldigung, ich habe dich verwechselt!" Which means "Oh, I'm sorry. I (insert the verb)." Eddie asked me the word for that in English and I told him there was no translation. It's a bit longer but I just told him to say "Oh, I'm sorry. I had (mistaken you for/you confused with) someone else." (?)
153. One day Eddie was in the bathroom at my mom's house and yelled to me "Whoa, Rach, there's a HUGE ant in here! QUICK! COME SEE!" so I jumped up immediately. I was a little excited what would get such a rise out of Ed Frick but when he showed it to me and I was like..."Um, this is it?...Ed, that's a normal black ant." I guess even the ants are bigger in America! I was disappointed because I was half-expecting a mutant or something...
154. They call rap/hip hop music "black music" over here. Hm...that wouldn't fly in the States...
156. They write their numbers a little differently here. Especially their ones, sevens, and nines. Some people write their sevens like that in America but who writes a one like that?
157. The way Eddie counts on his fingers is different too. (TRY THIS!) I count 1-index finger 2-index finger and middle finger 3 - middle 3 fingers 4 - thumb bent in. Ed counts 1- thumb! 2- thumb and index finger 3- first 3 fingers 4 - pinky down...I'm sorry but that's just a little too weird for me. Our kids are doing it my way!
158. I swear every other day is a holiday in Germany. If I had a quarter for every time I heard Ed say "Today's a holiday in Germany," I'd be rich. Furthermore, Eddie doesn't even know what holiday it is half of the time, just that people don't have to work. Hm, must be nice!
159. Ed knows the meaning of "WT" and "jorts." He recognizes them and uses them both correctly in a sentence. He makes me so proud! :*)
160. They don't have bright yellow school buses in Germany. The buses to school look just like the public buses but they change the sign in the front. The kids have to pay too! Granted, it's a reduced cost...but still. We're spoiled in the US!
There were a lot of things growing up that would frustrate me. My mom wasn't perfect and I wasn't the perfect daughter (very close though, guys, I was pretty darn close). ;) Now that I am grown, I "get" a lot more of her decisions than I did back then. Here are just a few:
Dear Ma,
Let's start from the beginning...thanks for breast feeding me. One of the first good decisions you made in my life...besides the decision to make me at all! ;)
When I was in elementary school I used to be ashamed of my school lunches. I knew at an early age that my lunches were different from the other kids'. When I look back now, I get it:
-Thanks for packing apple juice boxes/milk thermoses instead of Capri Suns or Huggies.
-Thanks for the PB & J's instead of Lunchables. (Have you guys seen the sodium content in those things?) Even after I begged for them in the stores, you never budged. Never. (Never, people! I never got a damn Lunchableeeeaaaaa!!!!) ::stomps feet...pouts::
-Thanks for making those PB & J's on wheat bread. Even after I cried and begged you to switch out the "brown bread" for "white bread," again, you didn't budge! ::crosses arms...hmmph:: I didn't even realize there was other types of bread until I saw all the other kids at school munchin' on this exotic "white bread."
-Thanks for cutting said sandwiches diagonally. I used to feel bad for the kids whose sandwiches were cut down the middle. And ::gasp:: God forbid if the sandwich wasn't cut at all! I'd probably keel over if I pulled out an uncut sandwich from my lunch box!
-Thanks for grapes instead of Gushers or the apples instead of Fruit Roll-Ups.
-When I did get sweets, and even though I was embarrassed to take it out of my lunch box, thanks for cutting the package of Little Debbies in half. I realize now that no elementary school child needs that many calories.
- Heck, thanks for packing my lunches at all!
With your help I was able to dodge the bullet of childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes. Thank you.
I remember when I was only allowed to go to either Toronto in 6th grade OR Washington D.C. in 8th grade...but not both. I realize now that it was a very fair choice. I mean, at least you were able to pay for one trip at all! I chose the 8th grade trip but I still hated sitting alone at the lunch table while everyone was in Toronto in 6th grade! But I want you to know I'm no longer salty about it because...I get it now.
Remember when I was in high school and I just ASSUMED I was going to all the formal dances? Remember when I just ASSUMED you and dad would be paying for my ticket, my dress, my hair, my nails, my dinner, my pictures, my limo, my tanning (::gulp::), my shoes, my jewelry...and you did? Yea...I remember that too...and thanks. Back then I didn't realize how much I took for granted...but I get it now.
Remember when I wasn't allowed to watch movies with boys laying down? Remember how every light in the room had to be on? Ugh...I do. How embarrassing! If we started to get relaxed and slouched or if I leaned back a little...surely enough, you'd whip your head around the corner and point directly at me "Rachel! Sit up!" I'm tempted to roll my eyes even as I type this but instead, I'll say thanks. Thanks to your guidance, I stayed on track when I was young. I will be able to share the joy of having a baby with my husband. (Let's not even talk about riding in cars with boys...when I get in the car with Eddie, I'm still tempted to look over my shoulder to see if you're peeking out the window!) Despite how frustrating/humiliating it was...I get it now.
Thanks for always having my back. I learned from an early age that no one can pull the wool over my mother's eyes. If I came home crying from (high)school because a teacher swore at me and embarrassed me, I was only momentarily surprised when that same teacher apologized the next day...and stated my mother really cares about me. (Mr. Centofanti had no idea what hit him). If I got cheated somehow at a store you went back in there and got me a full refund. I get my wit from you and I will not tolerate injustices of any kind. I like to believe that people think twice before double-crossing a Bartolone woman. God help the people that hurt my future children...
Speaking of not being able to fool you...remember when I used to tell you I was staying at a friend's house and you used to say "Ok, honey, sounds great...just let me talk to her mother real quick." Well played, mother...well played! I will be doing that one with my kids too. You always had to confirm that there would be "parental/adult supervision" and that I wasn't lying and staying at a boy's house. Again, annoying and embarrassing...but I get it now.
Remember that time I pushed your head...and you chased me down into the dining room and broke a metal (ok, probably aluminum) broom in half by beating me in, on, and around my head, torso, back region? Haha, yea, good times. I remember that too. Well, I get that now. There was no way I could have gotten away with that. I can't remember whatever possessed me to push your head but, Ma, let's be honest, you probably deserved it. Hahhahahahahah. No, just kidding, for realsies though, thanks for not letting us get away with too much. When I would visit other friends' houses and I would hear them talk back to their parents I would flinch for them! When they spat out something smart I cowered from instinct. I thought for sure they were going to get a smack in the mouth. I was like "Oooo snap, you gon' done it now, girl! You's about to get your booty whooped!" When it didn't come I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone "Whoa, wait, you're not going to smack her for saying that to you?!?! Hm...ok...should I smack her for you?"
(I never knew there were others that could relate to this picture. I thought my mother was the only maniac in town. She need only shake the utensil drawer and us kids scattered like cockroaches. The simple sound of her getting up, walking into the kitchen, and searching for a wooden spoon made us stop in our tracks. Even if I was mid-swing at my brothers' faces or if they were about to crack me in the leg with a hockey stick...the sound of that drawer made us freeze because we knew what was coming. It was textbook Pavlov's classical conditioning!)
Thanks for not letting me dye my hair or get my belly button pierced...even after I begged you in high school to let me go with Courtney Agnesi. You told me when I was 18 I could do whatever I wanted. You want to know the crazy thing though? My 18th birthday came and went without me noticing. Heck, a decade has passed and I still have never dyed my hair and, to this day, my ears are the only things that are pierced. I save a lot of money being all natural so I know Eddie thanks you too! But how did you know that I would make this decision?! You're very tricky, Mom...and it's borderline creepy. You're a bit of a gambler but I respect your bluff. I see you...and I'm keepin' my eye on you too.
Remember that time I had to pay my own way through college? You might not know it but I was very bitter at times thinking: "Did they not know, when they had FOUR children, that we would be going to college when we were older? Why didn't they plan better?!?" Well, you best believe that because I paid my own way, I didn't waste any time in college. I went to class, never failed one, never had to repeat one, never switched majors, never switched universities, and finished on time. Thanks for always keeping me on track. No, really, thanks a lot for that one, I get it.
Even though you weren't able to fit college into the family budget we got to go on family vacations every year! These were some of the best times of my life. Thanks, Madge!
Growing up I got in trouble for saying "crap," "suck," or singing the song "I hate myself for loving you" because "Rachel, you should never hate yourself for loving someone!" Thanks for always teaching us to watch our mouths. I think some of your efforts were in vain because when need be, I can still have the mouth of a trucker. You still get an A for effort. Nice try stealing my Snoop Dogg CD's when I was younger too. Might I suggest you find a better hiding spot though before you have grandkids. I see where you're coming from but I think it's time to accept the fact that I am approaching 30 and I sometimes say the "S" word. Look how you talk to grandma!
Not a very important one, but I remember when you used to flip your shi...I mean, flip your "lid"...when us kids would vacuum in the living room and we would ram the end-table legs with the vacuum cleaner. Oooh man do I get it now. Real wood furniture is expensive. Just ask Eddie the heat he gets for not using a coaster.
Thanks for teaching me appropriate table manners. It really bugs me too now when someone holds their spoon wrong. Thanks for all the home cooked meals as well. I have some great memories sitting around the dinner table. Cooking for a family of 6 at least 6 times a week can be hard...I get that now.
Remember when you used to drag us to church? No, I mean literally drag us. You were holding Julie's hand, while Brandon was on your hip, while pushing Bronson in the stroller, and demanding that I hold onto the side of said stroller. I bet we put up a bit of a fight getting ready for church each weekend. Thanks for teaching me about God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Even though 2 hours church services is a lot to ask from a child, I realize now that you were just keeping your promise to God...a promise to spread his word to your children. Thank you for leading by example. My faith is one of the best gifts you've given me.
I realize you did know best and although it's years/decades late, I want you to know I appreciate it and I love you! Don't give up yet though, I still need my mommy!
My other mothers
(2 of my 4 grandmothers - Grandma Louise is in heaven and Oma Kroeker couldn't travel to America for this picture.) The left one is Oma Frick and the right one is my Grandma Gent...let the record show that she has also never dyed her hair. She is very proud to tell everyone that that red is her natural color. The woman is an angel.)
My mother-in-law, Olga (A.K.A "Mama Frick") and my mom, Tammi.
Now, see God, I get it. I get my mom's sacrifices and I appreciate her hard work. I understand almost everything she did in her life was for the benefit of my siblings and me. I'm ready to do the same for my babies...well, not the exact same, but my variation of her love. I've passed the test in life of understanding my mother. I've passed this test while she is still alive and healthy for me to say thank you. I've passed this test even before I have babies of my own...now will you please, please, let this be my last mother's day as a non-mommy?
"Alles Gute zum Muttertag!"
Germany vs. America
151. Ed doesn't put butter or salt on his corn-on-the-cob and he eats it with his bare hands. I have to yell at him to use my cute little corn-on-the-cob holders shaped conveniently like little corn-on-the-cobs! I don’t know if it’s a German thing or just him being barbaric again but it's weird. Last summer I didn't have any corn-on-the-cob...it just isn't that popular here.
152. In German, there is a verb for when you are about to go up and say something to someone but at the last second you realize that that person isn't who you thought they were. In German, you would say something like "Oh! Entschuldigung, ich habe dich verwechselt!" Which means "Oh, I'm sorry. I (insert the verb)." Eddie asked me the word for that in English and I told him there was no translation. It's a bit longer but I just told him to say "Oh, I'm sorry. I had (mistaken you for/you confused with) someone else." (?)
153. One day Eddie was in the bathroom at my mom's house and yelled to me "Whoa, Rach, there's a HUGE ant in here! QUICK! COME SEE!" so I jumped up immediately. I was a little excited what would get such a rise out of Ed Frick but when he showed it to me and I was like..."Um, this is it?...Ed, that's a normal black ant." I guess even the ants are bigger in America! I was disappointed because I was half-expecting a mutant or something...
154. They call rap/hip hop music "black music" over here. Hm...that wouldn't fly in the States...
155. Similarly, ask a German what this sweet is called: 
I'm sure you'll be equally surprised/horrified/offended when they tell you it's called an "N*gger Kiss." I almost fell off my chair in my integration course when my teacher called it that too. Wow...I couldn't believe my ears. I then went on about a 20 minute rant about how you should never say that word... Eeeeek! Not good.
156. They write their numbers a little differently here. Especially their ones, sevens, and nines. Some people write their sevens like that in America but who writes a one like that?
157. The way Eddie counts on his fingers is different too. (TRY THIS!) I count 1-index finger 2-index finger and middle finger 3 - middle 3 fingers 4 - thumb bent in. Ed counts 1- thumb! 2- thumb and index finger 3- first 3 fingers 4 - pinky down...I'm sorry but that's just a little too weird for me. Our kids are doing it my way!
158. I swear every other day is a holiday in Germany. If I had a quarter for every time I heard Ed say "Today's a holiday in Germany," I'd be rich. Furthermore, Eddie doesn't even know what holiday it is half of the time, just that people don't have to work. Hm, must be nice!
159. Ed knows the meaning of "WT" and "jorts." He recognizes them and uses them both correctly in a sentence. He makes me so proud! :*)
160. They don't have bright yellow school buses in Germany. The buses to school look just like the public buses but they change the sign in the front. The kids have to pay too! Granted, it's a reduced cost...but still. We're spoiled in the US!
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