Time Flies

It's been a minute since I last posted and Eddie and I have since traveled home to the States and back. If we missed you, I wholeheartedly apologize - if I did get to see your face, I miss you already! We had a nice time and saw many friends and family. We didn't get the see everyone and do all the things on our list but that task seems to be nearly impossible in just 1-2 weeks' time. I need to start accepting that.

Speaking of flying, I have a confession to make.
::clearing my throat::
::singing a couple of scales to warm up::
Are you ready? Here goes.

I hate people when I travel.

Yes, I know, it's not very Christian-like to say and it goes against my parting words in my last blog entry but...I do. I can't help it! But please allow me to explain! Approximately 8 years ago is when things started to go downhill. Back then, airports were exciting, I felt important, I was (overly?) friendly to people, I walked to my gate and went in and out of shops with a pep in my step! Fast forward tens of thousands of miles later and you will find a very jaded Frau Frick. These days, my motto is basically "every man for himself." Let me break it down -

"Walk left. Stand right." You'd be surprised how many people in the world have a hard time understanding/following these simple directions.

I don't have enough energy to go into detail about these two types of people but here they are none-the-less:
-Those that refuse to approach the completely free, very available self check-in kiosks.
-Those that, even after a decade, do not understand what to do at the security check point. ::wide eyed look:: "What? You mean I can't take this gallon of 2% Milk on the plane with me AND I have to take off these lace-up snow shoes I'm wearing? I'm never flying from this airport again!"

When you see me inserting my earbuds into my ears, that means the conversation is over. I no longer want to hear about your upcoming trip to Tel Aviv or how you are worried about your connecting flight because we took off late. If all goes according to plan, in 10 hours I will never see your face again. Now, go...to...sleep!

People are so inexplicably eager to board the plane that they push, poke, and jab each other. I just sit back and watch them line up like cattle. I'm in no hurry to go into the slaughter house...A.K.A. that Boeing 777 at the end of the jetway. The only time you will see me run is when they announce our flight is canceled and only then am I hightailing it to stand in line. You best bet your bottom dollar I'll be the first one in line at the counter before the rest of the stampede shows up!

Every time I see someone go to the airplane bathroom in their socks I die a thousand deaths. A thousand deaths! I've yet to witness a barefoot entry but I bet people do it. The day I see that one I might just keel over. Barefoot passage through security already makes my skin crawl.

Every time I see a parent change their baby's diaper on the folding tray table approximately 2-3 blood vessels in my head burst! Our drinks and meals are served there...gross! Eddie gets embarrassed but as soon as we find our seats I wipe down our TV screen, arm rests (including each individual button), window shade, head rest, wall and tray table with disinfecting wipes. People are N-A-S-T-Y.

Speaking of diapers and such, on the motion sickness bags in the seat pocket it says:

"May be used for air sickness, waste, and diapers.

Please do not place back in the seat pocket after use."

The fact that that last sentence had to be printed on the bag leaves me no choice BUT to hate people. Can you not hang on to your own stomach contents or your child's feces until the appropriate time to dispose of said waste yourself in the trashcan at the back of the plane? Blah! ::shiver::

You do not need to travel in a ball gown but I am going to need you to bathe yourself within 24 hours of your flight with me. Thanks in advance. (And don't you dare try to cover up your body stench with cologne.) No one wants to spend the whole flight with their nose hidden in their sleeve. Don't make me make you feel uncomfortable.

Next up, the seat belt sign...oh the seat belt sign! I'm not a flight attendant but when I see it's turned on and someone stands up to go to the bathroom or remove their stupid airplane pillow from the overhead bin I want to not-so-kindly remind them that they are not exempt to the rules. I need to have my own PA system....

"Hey, sir. Sir! Yes, you. Excuse me for interrupting your "Easy" Sudoku ::eye roll:: but do you mind covering your mouth when you cough? You remember, something you learned to do back in oh, say, kindergarten? In case you haven't noticed but for the past 3 + hours we've been stuck in a pressurized capsule at about 30,000 feet with recirculating air together. It's a cesspool in here! Please keep your swine flu to yourself by covering your mouth...wait, no, not in your hand! Ugh!"

Some people give parents the nastiest looks when their kids run amok while we are all waiting at the gate. In my opinion, run free children! Burn that energy! In fact, I think I saw a clown giving out balloon animals 22 gates down, sprint and get yourself one! In 1 hour's time, they will be crammed into a seat just squirming to move those little legs of theirs. If karma runs its course, they'll be sitting right next to you, old Mrs. Dirty-Look-Giver! What, like when your kids were young they behaved perfectly? Psht, yea right. They probably didn't have planes back when you had small children. I empathize with parents on long flights in hope that when it is my turn to travel with young ones I will be shown the same patience. Deal breaker - diaper changing on the tray table! Then we are enemies! (My future - "Mommy, why does my apple juice tastes like Benadryl?" "Shhhh, sweetheart. Just cheers Mommy's wine and we'll sleep the whole flight together.")

"Well, Rachel, why don't you fly first class?"
Hm, well, that's be nice but it turns out God gave me more brains than money to be able to do that.

I get it, you're tired, hungry, and uncomfortable but it does not give you the excuse to lose all common sense/courtesy.  In case of an emergency and Rachel Frick is seated in the exit row I will open that door just far enough to wiggle out myself and close it right behind me! Don't put it past me! I told you, it's every man for himself!

The day I left America for Germany. My wedding dress flew in first class...if that counts?

Germany vs. America Facts

31.   "Wait...they don't have Chipotle in Germany?!?"
No...they don't. Common US restaurants that I have seen here include: McDonald's (obviously), Burger King, Subway, Dominos, Pizza Hut, *Bucks (yea, I abbreviated it like that), KFC, Dunkin' Donuts. I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

32.   It's cool to meet/eat at McDonald's here. I have to explain here that it is embarrassing to eat there in the States. There are so many other (better) options!

33.   Please don't ask to compare gas prices. They use euros, we use dollars. They go by liters, we use gallons. If you are an expert at conversions, by all means...knock yourself out. The last time I did that math it was about like $8.50/gallon...yea, imagine that! Every time I hear an American complain about the gas prices I want to smack their spoiled little mouth! ;)

34.   I've noticed Germany's highest gas quality is 100. Ours is 92. (I think?) I don't know what that all means...do you?

35.   Eddie drives a Volkswagen (and they pronounce is Folksvagen).  Ok, ok, before Ed comments, I must specify, it is a Volkwagen Golf 5 GTi Turbo 2.0 ... and red.

36.   If you get pulled over in Germany...the police officer pulls in front of you and turns on a sign in the back window instructing for you to: "Bitte Foglen" or "Please follow me" and they will lead you to the place to stop.

37.   If there are not two police officers in the car, one can argue that it is their word again yours. Try telling that to a state hooptie!

38.   Ed does not own, nor has he ever heard of a Sham-Wow...before watching American television...are you following me, camera guy? Even though it claims to be manufactured in Germany.

39.   According to my cell phone:
$1 = €0.76
€1 = $1.31
1 CHF = $1.07
$1 = 0.93 CHF
And no, CHF doesn’t mean congestive heart failure. It stands for Swiss Francs. I don’t know why they abbreviate Switzerland with CH, do you?

40.   All cars in Germany/Switzerland are required to go through "technical controls" to ensure that they are safe for the road. Thank goodness that does not exist in Ohio. The 'Stang wouldn't have passed in any category.

Do you have any questions you want answered about what it's like to live here? Comment below! Have you been to Germany and you think my "fact" is completely erroneous? Please, chime in! I would LOVE to hear what you think. Remember to include the number of the "fact" you are referring to.

Auf Wiedersehen!