Imagine being uprooted. Not just to another town or school...but further, to a completely different country (Canada doesn't really count with this one). Someplace where you can't get in a car and drive home (no matter the hours) to see a familiar face...where the closest person who really knows you is 5,000 miles away. Imagine what it would be like to give up the keys to your house or the keys to your apartment. Take an imaginary spin in your living room with the walls bare and all your things packed up in boxes...not to be seen again for another year (should they make the transcontinental trip in one piece). I'm also going to need you to give up the keys to your car. Did you remember to check the glove compartment one last time for anything important? In this new land there is also a chance that you may not be able to drive (legally). You may find yourself literally in tears handing over your Ohio Drivers License that you so proudly obtained 10 years prior.
All your years of schooling (you know, the one for which you are still paying back the loans) and work experience all of a sudden meaning almost nothing anymore. "Case Western what?" "Ohio State who?" Like most new jobs, you will soon start from the bottom again earning respect and proving you know what you're doing...but with the added scrutiny of being a foreigner with an accent.
That reminds me, I'm going to need your tongue too. Do you mind? Imagine being stripped of your ability to fully express yourself to 99% of the people around you. You'll soon realize that body language and a polite smile only gets you so far. No one gets your jokes...you swear you used to be funny! Imagine having a major complaint at a business or being attacked and screaming "Help!" to no avail. After a few vital seconds you realize the people around you might not know what you're saying. Listening to the radio or turning on the tube used to be relaxing...now it's just confusing why the lips don't match the words.
Imagine your best friends...their smiles and the way they laugh. Imagine all your coffee, lunch, and movie dates being replaced by technology. Instead, your ears strain to hear a smile over the phone. Your friend's daddy passes away...you can't even give her a simple hug. One might be getting a divorce...try sending her a funny picture to cheer her up! (?) Best friend or cousin for 20+ years...be happy if you see them twice a year. Your sleepovers are now Skype dates. Oh! You just thought of something really important to tell your mom...but oh, that's right, you have to wait for the other half of the world to wake up first. (It really freaks people out if you call them at 4 AM.) Your cousin/friend is pregnant ...you hope to meet him before he starts to walk. Want your mom's apple pie recipe? Maybe she can email it to you. You ache to drink a cup of tea and eat cookies with your lonely grandmother. (You don't even like black tea...or Welsh cookies!) Even though people have easy access to her, they choose not to visit and it makes you sad/angry.
You get a craving for your favorite pizza and automatically dial the number from memory...to be greeted by a funny dial tone. You were invited to a party...but when you go shopping for something new to wear, all the clothes are just plain weird...what is your size here anyway?
Want to stay connected with your baby brothers? Try hopping on XBox live and hoping that you see "2 Friends Online"...aw, no luck, one is at work and the other is at college. By the time they come home, you'll already be well into your second REM cycle...maybe next time!
Well, maybe you can find a good church and make some friends there...or you'll be disheartened to learn that 1 in 3 people have nothing to do with religion here.
Your dad...the man that taught you how to knock someone out by holding a roll of quarters in your fist...the same man that taught you everything you know about Classic Rock. The one who you went to work roofing houses with 5 summers in a row. The dude that would help you at the drop of a dime and tries really hard to keep up-to-date on your newest sayings and technology. Yea, replace that man with a man here that would rather drink than hear about your day.
Most newlywed women part from their bachelorette pad and maybe their last name. I'm coming to terms with losing almost everything I knew to be true for the first 26 years of my life...even a year and a half later!
"I could never do it. I would never leave my family here...I'm way too family-oriented."
Oh, really, like I wasn't?
I like to believe that if it were the only way you could be with the one you love, you'd do it too. If you wouldn't give everything you have up for the love of your life...I don't know what to tell you. With all the uncertainty that came with my decision there was always a sense of clarity.
This really isn't a "why me" entry because I know I chose this life. Want to know my secret:
This man. I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.
::sigh::
And now for more facts!
...continuing with the restaurant theme.
11. The waiters/waitresses are not constantly coming up and asking "Is everything ok?"
"How does everything taste?" "You thinking about dessert?" etc. I am not sure which
one I prefer more. At times, I lean more towards the German way of things, but
when I actually need something I have a mini panic attack inside...
12. When paying the bill, the waiter does not bring you the check and leave. He/She
stands there and waits for you to get your money out! I remember being taken aback
by this. They then proceed to give you your change right there from their, what I
like to call, "accordion wallets." If you've been here, you know what I mean!
13. Tipping, on the other hand, typically just involves rounding up a little. It's not as
systematic/mathematical as it is back home. Ed always handles this part.
14. The concept of free refills was amazing to Eddie and his brother the first time they
visited.
15. They didn't like how much ice we put in our drinks. They don't put any in theirs. The
drinks are usually served cold in restaurants, just no ice. Don't get my mom and my
aunt started on this topic...
16. “They drink warm beer there.” Meh, I don't know about that one. I’ve never been
served warm beer here but the people back home that say that to me seem pretty
set on it so I just let it be.
17. Don't go making a lot of substitutions and changes to the menu items. I'm a picky
eater but you just learn to deal. (Sam, you'll have a hard time here!)
18. You don't see as many "doggy bags" for leftovers leaving the restaurants in Germany.
Typically, the serving size they give you is enough. I always feel slightly awkward for
asking for one.
19. German women wear socks/pantyhose/knee highs often. Ed's mother thought I
was nuts for going out in the winter with skinny jeans and ballet flats
which..::gasp::...showed the 2 in. dorsal side of my foot! She then went into her
bedroom and retrieved knee highs for me. I donned them...embarrassed... At home
I never wore pantyhose because they are dumb but all the girls wear them here. Hm,
"when in Rome!"
20. When meeting friends out, everyone greets each other either with a handshake or a
kiss on the cheek..or two...or three! Some of my friends kiss on the lips which was
quite the shocker at first and took some getting used to! It gets really confusing. My
tactic...just sit there, look pretty, and follow everyone else's lead. I've learned to
memorize which person prefers which type of greeting. Seems like something silly
but it can be pretty embarrassing!
11. The waiters/waitresses are not constantly coming up and asking "Is everything ok?"
"How does everything taste?" "You thinking about dessert?" etc. I am not sure which
one I prefer more. At times, I lean more towards the German way of things, but
when I actually need something I have a mini panic attack inside...
12. When paying the bill, the waiter does not bring you the check and leave. He/She
stands there and waits for you to get your money out! I remember being taken aback
by this. They then proceed to give you your change right there from their, what I
like to call, "accordion wallets." If you've been here, you know what I mean!
13. Tipping, on the other hand, typically just involves rounding up a little. It's not as
systematic/mathematical as it is back home. Ed always handles this part.
14. The concept of free refills was amazing to Eddie and his brother the first time they
visited.
15. They didn't like how much ice we put in our drinks. They don't put any in theirs. The
drinks are usually served cold in restaurants, just no ice. Don't get my mom and my
aunt started on this topic...
16. “They drink warm beer there.” Meh, I don't know about that one. I’ve never been
served warm beer here but the people back home that say that to me seem pretty
set on it so I just let it be.
17. Don't go making a lot of substitutions and changes to the menu items. I'm a picky
eater but you just learn to deal. (Sam, you'll have a hard time here!)
18. You don't see as many "doggy bags" for leftovers leaving the restaurants in Germany.
Typically, the serving size they give you is enough. I always feel slightly awkward for
asking for one.
19. German women wear socks/pantyhose/knee highs often. Ed's mother thought I
was nuts for going out in the winter with skinny jeans and ballet flats
which..::gasp::...showed the 2 in. dorsal side of my foot! She then went into her
bedroom and retrieved knee highs for me. I donned them...embarrassed... At home
I never wore pantyhose because they are dumb but all the girls wear them here. Hm,
"when in Rome!"
20. When meeting friends out, everyone greets each other either with a handshake or a
kiss on the cheek..or two...or three! Some of my friends kiss on the lips which was
quite the shocker at first and took some getting used to! It gets really confusing. My
tactic...just sit there, look pretty, and follow everyone else's lead. I've learned to
memorize which person prefers which type of greeting. Seems like something silly
but it can be pretty embarrassing!
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